Controlling Relationships Term paper
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Controlling Relationships
Being engaged to a controlling person sometimes causes you to lose
control in every aspect of your life. Passive people like myself usually find
controlling partners. Controlling people like my ex-fiancé usually find passive
partners. We are "perfect" for each other. Being passive, I'm quite happy to
be left alone. I sometimes don't have much to say, and I have to admit I
sometimes can seem to be deaf when you try to discuss problems with me. While
on the other hand a controlling person makes constant demands on their partners.
They have much to say, and they can act like they think they've been elected to
tell everyone else how to live their lives. They are seldom content, and they
seem to resent anyone who is. Since both controlling people and passive people
have poor relationships, they experience a whole lot of loneliness. After a
long while, all of this loneliness adds up and makes them realize they can
survive on their own! Then they can stop trying to change their partner and
simply enjoy them as they are. Unfortunately, both people need to learn from
their loneliness-so they can grow into people who want each other instead of
people who think they need each other.
It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it
is bad for you. A "bad" relationship is not the kind that is going through the
usual periods of disagreement and disenchantment that are inevitable when two
separate people come together. A bad relationship is one that involves
continual frustration; the relationship seems to have potential but that
potential is always just out of reach. In fact, the attachment in such
relationships is to someone who is "unattainable" in the sense that he or she is
committed to someone else, doesn't want a committed relationship, or is
incapable of one. Bad relationships are chronically lacking in what one or both
partners need. Such relationships can destroy self-esteem and prevent those
involved from moving on in their careers or personal lives. They are often
fertile breeding grounds for loneliness, rage, and despair. In bad
relationships the two partners are often on such different wave-lengths that
there is little common ground, little significant communication, and little
enjoyment of each other.
Remaining in...
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