Preparing For Death Term paper
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When I began researching for this paper, I thought I was writing a paper
about the affect of AIDS on a person's life. I drove to Detroit and met
with my friend Jake, who was recently diagnosed with HIV. As I talked
to him, his courage and positive outlook startled me. He had gained an
amazing attitude about life fulfillment, love and appreciation. Jake had
become a totally new person. He now appreciated everything in his life,
found meaning in what he did and really lived every minute that he had.
This caused me to look at the way that I live my life. I realized that most
of the time in my life is spent waiting for time to pass. Learning about
this new insight into life caused me to change my topic for this paper. I
was now interested in discovering all that I could about how death can
affect life. My new question was: How can the awareness of death help
me to enhance the way that I live my life?
If I were to ever discover that I had a terminal illness, I always
pictured that it would consume my life. I always thought that I would
spend every moment depressed, waiting to die. But after I talked to Jake
for a while I discovered that facing death can enhance the way a person
lives their life in so many ways. Instead of living his average life, Jake
had transformed his life into a life of meaning. Each day he appreciates
all the things around him. When he goes to work he is working towards
his goal. He has made plans for travel, and many other things to look
forward to. He has accepted love into his heart and feels it like he never
thought possible. Just talking to Jake I was able to see and feel so much
different about him. He gave out so much positive energy it almost
scared me at first. I hate to say it, but at first I doubted him, and I
thought he was I denial about his illness and about death. I thought that
the only reason that he was saying these things was because he could not
bear to think about his deadly disease. But I realized that I could learn
so many wonderful things about life from this new perspective. And I
became interested in his happiness as I reflected on my nothingness.
I became very interested in the way Jake seemed to soak up
everything in life. He seemed to become a much deeper person. His
appreciation of art, music and poetry had flourished. I went to the
library and got two books by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, an expert on the
process of death and dying. these books focused on helping people to
live fuller lives until they die. They helped me greatly in my search for
the answer to my question.
"...When human beings have the courage to face their own
finiteness and come to grips with that deepest agony, questioning,
turmoil and pain- they emerge as new people. They begin to converse
with God, or the Source, or whatever you want to call it, and a new kind
of existence begins for them. These patients often become poets; they
become creative beyond all expectations, far beyond what their
educational backgrounds prepared them for. ... The reason for all this
emerging creativity in patients is the fact that we all have many hidden
gifts within our own being that are all too frequently drowned in the
negative and materialistic struggles on which we spend so much of our
precious energy. Once we are able to get rid of our fears, once we have
the courage to change from negative rebellion to positive
nonconformism, once we have the faith in our own abilities to rise above
fear, shame, guilt and negativity - we emerge as much more creative and
much freer souls."
In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' book To Live until we say Goodbye, she
features a woman named Beth who is dying of cancer. Beth spent much
of her time writing poems and music in her diary. She allowed these
poems to be published after her death. One particular poem stuck in my
head.
"Death is staring too long into the burning sun and the relief of
entering a cool dark room." I feel that this poem shows...
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