Essay on The Five Stages Of Dying
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Last Grains of the Hour Glass
A One Act Play by Drew Gershman
Scene I
The curtain opens and we see what appears to be a hospital bedroom. It has a bed, dresser and TV, but other than that it seems to be lifeless. A man of age 70 or so rests in the bed waiting motionless hooked to numerous machines and IV's. His name is Martin Gray. He is a typical elderly gentleman. He has a wife, and a Daughter and 2 grandchildren. As his lies there, lost in thought, a doctor walks in. Martin can tell by the look on the doctors face that whatever it is he's about to say isn't the greatest news in the world.
Doctor Bishop: How ya feelin' Mr. Gray?
We hear Martin speak for the first time. His voice is weak and he seems to have to make a large effort to say anything at all.
Martin: Been better Doctor Bishop. What's the deal? Am I going to be OK?
Doctor Bishop: Well Mr. Gray, that's what I came to discuss with you. That episode that you had on Monday is causing more problems than we can fix.
Martin isn't quite sure what the deal is, but he waits for the Doctor to continue, trying not to think of the words the doctor could say that would scare him most of all.
Doctor Bishop: Since you've been staying here at the hospital and haven't been able to move around or allow your blood to circulate well, you developed a blood clot. Because of it, we weren't able to move you until it was taken care of, and now it seems we've detected three more. At this rate I'm not sure we'll be able to take care of them before more develop.
Martin: So you're saying there's nothing you can do at all? Or is there some kind of treatment or drug I need to take. Or what about surgery? You can just get rid of them all at the same time if you have enough doctors in there performing surgery on me right? I mean, there s got to be something, Right?
Doctor Bishop: I wish there was, but they're just continuing to generate and we aren't able to slow down or stop the process. But at this rate, at some point in the near future, it s just going to become too much for your body to handle. I can't tell you exactly how long you have. Cases such as these have ranged between a couple of days to a couple of months and there were some that made it a couple of years. It simply depends on how many more develop, and where exactly they develop at. If they generate in the cranial area, they can effect and even destroy one side of the brain itself. I'm sorry sir. I wish there was something I could do.
Martin: Are there any tests you can run? Can you take another look or do something? I mean, aren t you supposed to consult a supervisor or CO-worker before you come to any final conclusions? Have you gotten a second opinion? What s the deal?
Doctor Bishop: Well the X-rays confirm the blood clots, and if you d like, we can take more periodically to find out just how fast they are developing. As for tests and second opinions, all I can really do is show the x-rays to a specialist and see what he says. Which, I d be happy to do by the way.
Martin: Yeah doc, I d appreciate that, thanks. Actually, my sister gave me another doctors name, who is a specialist. Would you mind having them come in and take a look? You know, in case you missed something? It s a Doctor Clemmens I think. You ever heard of him?
Doctor Bishop: Sure Martin, I ll get that done right away and I ll let you know the earliest time he can come up here OK?
Martin: Thanks doc. I m sure everything is all right. We ll just have him take a look.
Martin is obviously in shock. He's not sure what to make of anything and can only stare in disbelief at the doctor that told him his life was about to end. The doctor waits a brief moment to see if Martin had any question or comments and when it was clear he did not, he slowly got up and sadly left the room. No matter who the patient is, news like this is never easy to deliver. As he reaches the door, he calls out to Martin's wife who is impatiently waiting to see her husband. She rapidly moves by his side, holding his hand, and asking what was said. After a moment, Martin begins to explain what has just been disclosed to him. As he tells her, the lights dim.
Scene II
As the curtain opens, we see Martin still in bed. This time not nearly as upset. He's on the phone with his daughter. Although we only hear one side of the conversation, we get a general idea of what's being discussed.
Martin: It's going to be OK pumpkin. You know we've gotten through tougher things than this! This is your old man we're talking about! You know me! I'm stronger than an ox!
pause
Look, I called up Doctor Clemmens to come in and run some tests, and we'll see what he says OK? Do your pop a favor and call your mother so she doesn't worry about me.
pause
Hey! Stop that... I'm not going anywhere! (sarcastically) I got through half my life putting up with you didn't I? There's no way I can't beat this too!
pause
I know honey...I Love You too. I'll give you a call as soon as I talk to Dr. Clemmens and you'll see that there's nothing to worry about OK?
pause
OK pumpkin, have a good day. I'll talk to you later. Give the rug rats a hug from their Pop-pop will ya? All right- bye bye.
Martin hangs up the phone almost cheerfully. As he does, Doctor Bishop enters with another hospital associate.
Doctor Bishop: How ya feeling Martin?
Martin: Doing much better doc! A little tired, but I didn t sleep a whole lot last night. My wife was here and I was trying to assure her that everything was going to be OK. What time will Doctor Clemmens be coming in to take a look at me?
Doctor Bishop: Probably a little later on this afternoon. Martin,. I want you to meet someone. This is Doctor Haroldeen. She works in the counseling department mostly with patients such as yourself. She just wanted to see if you felt like talking at all about what's going on.
Martin: Thanks, but no thanks. I m fine , really. You ll see. sarcastically Why don t you give me a call in about 20 years when I m going to die!
Doctor Haroldeen: Well Martin, sometimes talking about these things helps a lot. I m not going to pressure you at all, I m just trying to look out for the best interests of you.
Martin: Hey look, Doctor Haroldeen is it? I appreciate what you're doing here, but I'm really fine! I'd think I'd know when my own time was coming, and I can assure you, I'm not even close yet!
Doctor Bishop leaves the two alone to discuss Martin's situation.
Doctor Haroldeen: I'm glad to see you handling it all so well Martin, but I just want you to understand that no one in this world really knows when they're going to die. Most people are not thinking of it at any given time. It's almost as if they feel dying is not possible for them. We all seem to subconsciously think we re immortal. It s nothing to be upset about, it s just the way our minds work. Talking about it just helps to realize your own mortality.
Martin: I can understand that Doc, but you see, this just can't be! I know it! It's practically in my blood! My dad for example- strong as ever until the day he got cancer. He was 87 when his body finally gave in. And my mom... she didn't even get sick! She died peacefully in her sleep when she was 91! I realize you guys think you've got the whole human body figured out and all, but the fact remains that me dying anytime soon just can't be true. Just watch. I'm having a specialist that my sister referred me to come in and take a look in a few hours. Maybe you've heard of him. Doctor Clemmens I think.
Doctor Haroldeen: Martin, as much as you don't want to face it, you're going to have to sometime. Death is just a part of life, and although your heredity would suggest otherwise, you'll have to learn to accept this and talk about it. Now, I m going to leave my office number with Doctor Bishop, and when you feel like talking, just go ahead and give me a call all right?
Martin: He begins to speak with a louder tone and eventually it becomes a yell. I'm going to be fine! Why can't you quacks understand that!? Jesus! It's like just because you have a PH.D. you think you can sentence everyone and their mother to death! Just get out and leave me alone will you? You come talk to me this afternoon after Dr. Clemmens takes a look!
Trying to be professional, Doctor Haroldeen attempts to keep her cool as she exits the room- closing the door softly behind her. Martin turns his attention toward the Television and flips it on with the remote control. We hear a show in the background and Martin laughs along with the audience as the lights dim.
Scene III
As the lights go up, we see Martin still in bed. His wife (Gina) sits in a chair beside him trying to be strong during the current situation. As they sit and talk, yet another Doctor Enters the small hospital room. It's Doctor Clemmens. As Martin and his wife look up to see the doctor, Martin smiles- expecting whatever the doctor is about to say to be what he's wanted to hear.
Martin: Hey Doc! So what's the news? When can I get outta' here?
Doctor Clemmens: Well Martin, I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy. I've looked over the test results and compared them to Doctor Bishop s, and I'm afraid he was right. The more you're hospitalized, the more blood clots are growing. And we can't move you until we can get rid of them. I'm sorry.
Martin: Wait a minute. I thought you were like a specialist. Can t you prescribe some kind of medication that I could take that will unclot the blood or something? I mean come on doc, you ve got to be able to do something right?
Doctor Clemmens: I wish there was Martin, but your condition is extremely fragile, and there isn t much we can do other than make you comfortable and aware of how your body is doing as time passes.
Martin sits quietly for a moment thinking. His wife begins to cry and holds her head in her hands. Seeing his wife this way triggers something inside of him and he proceeds to blow up at Doctor Clemmens.
Martin: What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you people let this happen to me!? You God damn doctors think you're so smart. You're supposed to be helping me! Not giving up on me! Why the hell should something like this happen? If you ask me, it's your damn fault! Every year I come in and get a check up, and every year, you quacks say I'm fine! Now you're telling me I'm going to die just because of some tests! Get the hell out of my room! I'm sick of you all telling me the same damn thing! You sound like a broken record! Why don t you just bury me right here!?
Doctor Clemmens, understanding Martin's anger, leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
Martin: Damn doctors! What the hell do they know?! He looks over at his sobbing wife. Stop that! What are you crying about, it's me they just sentenced to death! What do you have to cry about? It's always me these kinds of things happen to, not you! Why me!? Out of all the murderers, and drug dealers, and terrorists there are in this world, God has to pick me to be the one to die! And then these doctors....these professionals- they're the ones who are supposed to be able to help me! How could they let this happen to me!? Why can't they help me!?
As he finishes yelling, he turns away from his wife, showing no concern for her emotional well being. She slowly reaches her hand out to him, and he briskly slaps it away without even looking in her direction. At this point, the situation becomes to much for his wife and she leaves the room crying, hurt, and humiliated. Moments later, there is a knock at the door and a nurse enters with a tray of food.
Nurse: Here you go Mr. Gray, lunch time.
After receiving no acknowledgment, the nurse leaves the room as well. The tray of food sits untouched by Martin. Seconds pass of silence, and there is a third visitor that enters the room. It's Martin's daughter.
Jaime: Daddy? Mommy told me what Doctor Clemmens said. Are you OK? She sits down next to him, trying to both be calm about the situation and gain his attention. Are you hungry? She picks up the fork and shovels up some of the food.
Martin: Slaps the fork from her hand. Jesus Jaime!, I can feed myself! Just leave me alone will you? Go sit outside with your mother or something.
Jaime: I m sorry, I m just trying to help.
Martin: Well don t. I ve had enough people try to help me today, and in the end they all just keep telling my that I m going to die. I m sick of it. And then you come in here treating me like I m in a nursing home and need to be fed.
Jaime: Stop it daddy, just stop it! You think this is easy for us? You think we enjoy having to deal with this? Quit being so damn selfish and think about your family!
Martin: Where the hell do you get off yelling at me!? I'm your father!
Jaime: Then why don't you start acting like it and quit being such a baby! This is hard for all of us, and the only way we're going to get through it is by sticking together!
Martin: News flash pumpkin, I've had 3 people in the last two days tell me I'm dying! And you expect me to be around long enough for us all to get through this? How would you feel if you found out you were going to die because you've been lying in bed for just a little too long!? What kind of death is that? What kind of significance does that kind of death have? No one can help me. I can't move, I can't leave, I can't help myself, and no one can help me either- not even God himself! So you tell me- why should I even give a rats rip about anything anymore!?
Jamie: Now crying as she speaks. Because we're your family! Everything that happens to you happens to us! Can't you understand that? You need to just accept the fact that sometimes, things like this happen! We're trying to help you daddy, but you've got to not push us away!
Martin: Push you away?! HE begins to get frantic and waves his arms wildly as he screams at her. How the hell can I push anything when I can't even get out of bed!? I swear Jamie every time I---
His words are cut of by a sharp pain in his chest. The machines all begin to beep wildly as if to try to say something. As she realizes what is happening, Jaime, runs out screaming for a doctor, a nurse, or anyone to come and help.
Scene IV
We see Martin lying motionless in his bed. Both his daughter and wife are next to him, watching the machines which appear to be running more smoothly now. Slowly, Martin awakes only to find that he's just barely survived a heart attack.
Martin: What happened?
Jaime: You had a heart attack daddy. How do you feel?
Martin: Still very disoriented- I'm all right I guess. Is the doctor around?
Jaime: Yeah I think he's somewhere outside. You want to talk to him?
Martin: Yeah pumpkin- thanks.
She leaves
I'm sorry honey...I know this isn't easy for any of us. But from now on, I'm going to try to make everything better any way I can all right?
She returns with the doctor
Hey doc...look I'm really sorry about before and all. I'm just not good at taking bad news. But I'm ready to listen now- I'll do anything you say.
Doctor Clemmens: Well Martin, I'm glad to see that everything is more settled, but I'm afraid there's not a whole lot we can do at this point. That's what I was trying to tell you earlier.
Martin: Nothing? Isn't there a drug I can take, or a treatment I could undergo? Come on doc- I do whatever it takes- no matter how long it takes, or how hard I have to work.
Doctor Clemmens: I'm sorry Martin, but there isn't...
Martin: What about surgery? I know you guys can fix blood clots can't you? Sure you can! I believe in you!
Doctor Clemmens: Martin, it's just not that simple. It's not that easy of a procedure, and even if we were to go through it, there would just be three more blood clots waiting for us when we were done.
Martin: Well then we'll get rid of those too! Come on doc, don't give up on me. If I have to stay in surgery for a year, I'll do it! Just do what you can for me...please!
Doctor Clemmens: I'm sorry Martin, I don't know what else to tell you...
The doctor leaves and the family embraces as they come to the realization that Martin doesn't have any options.
Scene V
The lights are dim now. It's night time. All in the hospital seems quiet and lifeless...except for the room of Martin Gray. As the rest of the world rests peacefully in their beds, he lies awake thinking.
Martin: ...God- if you're out there, listening, I have a favor to ask of you. Please, please help me. The doctors said there's nothing they can do, and I'm just not ready to go yet. It's not my time- it can't be my time. Look, I know I haven't been to church...
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