Habits Term paper
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HABIT # 5
EMPATHIC COMMUNICATION
„h SEEK FISRT TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
The basic concept of this chapter
„h TAKE TIME TO DIAGNOSE
We tend to rush into things and fix them up with good advice, rather take the time to understand the problem at hand.
„h READING AND WRITING, NOT LISTENING
Very few people have had training in listening and therefor use a listening technique. To interact effectively one must really understand the problem. Once the person feels you understand them then they start to open up.
„h LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND NOT TO REPLY
Most people listen to reply rather than understand meaning that they are either talking or getting ready to talk. When one person listens to another they are often relating the story to their own lives, past experiences or frames of reference.
„h 4 MAIN LEVELS PEOPLE LISTEN AT
„h ignoring
„h pretending
„h selective
„h attentive
Never really reach the 5th level of empathic listening, empathic meaning to really understand the other person both emotionally as well as intellectually. Getting into their frame of reference.
„h HOW WE COMMUNICATE
„h 10 % words
„h 30 % sounds
„h 60 % body language
This is why empathic listening is so important and powerful; you listen with your ears and eyes. If you listen empathetically one listens for feeling and meaning.
„h PSYCOLOGICAL AIR
This is a very important concept and can be achieved if people are able to listen empathetically. Example of air being sucked out of the room, survival would be the only motivation and the book would not be very important. The most important part of this concept is that satisfied needs do not motivate people only the unsatisfied ones. It is very important for people to be psychologically understood, or to be affirmed or validated so if you can give them this feeling through listening empathetically then it is possible to concentrate on the real problem.
„h 4 AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL RESPONCES
„h evaluate
„h probe
„h advise
„h interpret
These responses come very naturally to us and we live amongst it all the time. It does also effect our ability to really understand. Probing and evaluating is very controlling and invasive and does not give a person psychological air.
„h SEEK...
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